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Journal Entry: Sun Dec 16, 2012, 2:35 PM

In irish gaelic there is an expression....Anam Cara...It means soul friend....Somebody that you feel very close to you and that you have the feeling that you know before the beginning of time....
In this journal entry I would like to talk about it...
I heard it is a rare thing to find someone who can be that close to you...Well, I do not know if that is true, but I found mine....It is a person that I fell in love with and as I said in the previous entry after mustering the guts to tell her that I love her (it took me almost 3 years to do that) I lost the meaning of words...I am not going to talk about what happedn but I will tell that this person decided to choose someone else....I felt betrayed and I felt like a part of myself, a part of my soul was torn apart ....10 years have past after we broke up (she decided to avoid me, not to cause suffering) and I still could not get over her...Yes, I tried to engage in other relationships but still the personality of my friend, of my Anam Cara, haunted me.....I realised that I was still looking for her....What hurt the most was that I could not feel her...We had this special connection that linked us to one another but now it was gone...Suffering and hatred welled up in me and blocked anything.....After 10 years we met again...She decided to show up...She heard from a common friend that I was still looking for her and she decided to contact me....I was so happy!!! But, alas, what I did not see is that all this 10 years I have lived in the past....To much "could have been"....She wanted me back as a friend not boyfriend...I could not accepted it....I was maddened by what I have perceived as a betrayal that I have lived 10 years still for her wanting her without any hope and after all this she just showed up wanting me as a friend...I could not understand...I could not understand that she was my Anam Cara, something that ca not be broken...We were imprinted in each other and there is no way of breaking that.....Time passed again...3 years...During this time we met from time to time, but there was silence in our words...She changed...She kept something from what she was 10 years ago but she had lost much of herself...That is why she needed me back...To remind her of who she is....I was to hurt to understand it...Slowly things have started to change with me....I do not know why and how...Step by step I started to miss her companionship, our long talks, our laughter....We talke about what happend, she tried to explain her choice, and now.....I finally get it....We spent this weekend together....No more hidden thoughts, no more lies, no more supressed feelings....And I realised that my love for her is still there but changed...I want her to be happy again....And she was just by beeing with me...And I was to...My Anam Cara is back and I am back for her to...I found a part of myself....



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fractal2cry Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015
How r u?
katdesignstudio Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the :+fav:!
fractal2cry Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
how is life?
French-Chocolaite Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for favessssssssssssssssssssssssss and watch :D
fractal2cry Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
ty George so very much for all the :+fav:sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
fractal2cry Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
Valentine by fractal2cry
fractal2cry Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013
Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mamasingsblues Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the faves:happybounce: +fav 
Antares2 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconthnxfavplz: x 3 :boogie:
GLO-HE Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013

:heart: Thanks :+fav:...S  :iconshinyheartplz:  :iconflyingheartsplz:                                          


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